


It's Not Because I Don't Like You

by Alt_jade127



Series: Great Big Book of Stucky Fics [3]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Online Dating, Fluff, M/M, Online Friendship, Shy Steve, one armed bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 04:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4989418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alt_jade127/pseuds/Alt_jade127
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Bucky have been friends online for a couple of months, and when they find out that they live in the same town, Steve is eager to meet Bucky, but why does Bucky say no?</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Not Because I Don't Like You

It was June, and Steve was playing in an online chartroom like any other Tuesday night. He was asking people's opinion on different types of techniques used throughout the Marvel comics. One idiot had brought up very valid points and Steve was about to reply to him when he heard the ping letting him know that there was a new chatter.

winter.soldier1945 has joined the chat room

This new chatter replied to the first chatter and Steve was impressed. This new chatter knew his stuff. Steve replied to both of the chatters which dove the three of them into an extremely in depth conversation about Captain America vs. Iron Man, and Captain America and The Winter Soldier vs. Captain America and The Falcon. Steve and winter.soldier1945 both agreed that Captain America and The Winter Soldier's past was a huge key point in their relationship and that their relationship would withstand the force of time better than Captain America and The Falcon's would. The fighting just lead to the other chatter to admit defeat and leave the chat, leaving Steve, cap.amer.srog, and winter.soldier1940 along in the chat. 

Their conversation swiftly moved from comics to movies to music and to their lives. Before Steve knew what was going on, it was almost four in the morning and he had to get up at seven to meet Nat at the gym. He didn't really want to say goodbye to this chatter and wanted to talk to them more, but Steve knew that Nat would have his ass if he didn't go to bed soon. Some how, she'd know. 

cap.amer.srog: it's getting late.  
winter.soldier1945: it is.  
cap.amer.srog: i'm going to have to go, i'm working out with a friend tomorrow  
winter.soldier1945: it's no problem, i really enjoyed talking to you.  
cap.amer.srog: i liked talking with you too, do you frequent this thread?  
winter.soldier1945: this was my first time actually, i just recently left the military and have been picking up on a few things.  
cap.amer.srog: military? impressive, i tried when i turned 18, but because of my medical history, they wouldn't let me. you couldn't guess that now  
though, lol  
winter.soldier1945: well, i promise it's not as glamorous as it is in the movies. i think that i might be back here tomorrow night... 8:00?  
cap.amer.srog: i think that i'll be here around that time as well. maybe we could speak to each other again?  
winter.soldier1945: i think that that would work. i guess i'll talk to you tomorrow, cap.amer.srog  
cap.amer.srog: i guess i'll talk to you too, winter.soldier 1945

Steve closed out of the thread and curled up to go to bed thinking about winter.soldier1945. They hadn't discussed anything really important like real names, ages, or gender, but Steve didn't really think he cared. As long as they weren't over forty, mean, or named Brock, he didn't care. They seemed like a really nice and genuine person who also liked World War II movies staring Brad Pitt or Sean Connery. Steve felt good going to sleep.  
(((***)))  
Steve and winter.soldier1945 talked almost everyday for the rest of summer before exchanging emails and real names. Steve knew that he was talking to James Buchanan Barnes, who liked to go by Bucky, at sergeantjbbarnes107@gmail.com, and Bucky knew that he was talking to Steve Rogers, who Bucky insisted on calling Stevie, at s.rogers5@gmail.com. Steve knew that Bucky was a guy and liked reading, meeting new people, and that he adored his job after the army even though it wasn't as eventful as the military. Bucky knew that Steve was a dude and liked drawing, running, and was extremely shy around people he didn't know. 

It was in the middle of September when Steve's phone beeped while he was out running with Natasha again. He had a new email from Bucky, and Natasha rolled her eyes when Steve made her stop running so that he could answer it. Bucky was just asking how Steve was doing, but the smile that illuminated his face would make someone think that he was texting a sweetie. Steve answered quickly and looked up at Natasha glaring at him.

"What?" He asked, trying not to smile. 

"What do you mean what? Is it Barnes? Have you two not exchanged phone numbers yet? Or met? Or fucked?"

"Nat, I've told you this already, he's..."

"'Just a friend.'" Natasha mocked, mimicking his voice. "You guys have been talking to each other forever, I think that you should at least skype or something. Steve, no one talks to an Internet friend this long without some alternative, and don't tell me that you don't think anything of him. Have you guys even seen pictures of each other?"

Steve thought of the picture that Bucky used for his email. Soft blue eyes shadowed by an army green cap and the short brown hair underneath. Bucky had a beautiful jaw structure and pretty tan skin. The picture was obviously taken when he was still in the military because he was wearing his dog tags and by the looks of the background, you could tell that he wasn't in America. He was beautiful in almost every way, his strong arms and firm chest almost made Steve drool. He thought about the picture that he used as his email. His skin was pale and you couldn't even see his eyes because he was laughing and his eyes were crinkled. He was wearing his glasses and his coat hid his body. Natasha had taken it last February when it had started snowing and they went out with a bunch of their friends. He must look like some hipster punk in Bucky's eyes. 

"I've seen his email picture."

"Are you sure it's even him? He could be-"

"Some old gross guy or some computer stealing my information, I get it Nat, just, I'll ask him about video chatting or something, okay?"

"Thank you, I just don't want you dead, Rogers. If you meet, remember, somewhere public and heavily populated."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Thanks mom."

"Not your mom." Natasha replies, slapping Steve up side the head before running off ahead of him."

 

Later that night, Steve couldn't hold back, he googled Bucky. He came up with a couple of articles about someone in Florida who had gone to jail for robbing a bakery only to feed all of the things he stole to the birds and some old guys that are dead. There was a linkedin profile that had a picture of Bucky in his nice uniform and an American flag in the back. It told who he was, what city he lived in, and his work experience. Steve took a deep breath when he saw where Bucky lived. He was in New York, NY, just like Steve, and Steve wondered if he'd ever seen him before. How many times could they have just walked by each other? And then Steve thought, not very many times, he's been in another country for the past nine years. 

Steve had moved on from the stalking to Netflix when his phone went off. It was Bucky.

Bucky: What're you doing?  
Steve: Parks and Recreation, what about you?  
Bucky: Cooking dinner.  
Steve: What are you making?  
Bucky: Leftovers, when it's only you, you don't have to feel pressured to make something new every night.  
Steve: I know what you mean, I guess it's one of the perks?  
Bucky: I guess, but I'd rather have someone to cook for than just having take out every other night and leftovers in between. I don't think that I'd mind cooking every night as long as I enjoyed the company.   
Steve: I can't cook. I burn ice. I'm not a fan of takeout either, but sometimes it's the only option.  
Bucky: I promise that it is not the only option. There's a cooking class that I teach in town on Thursdays at the V.A., you should see if anyone teaches a class near you.   
Steve: I'm sure that there are plenty of cooking classes here in New York.  
Bucky: Is that where you're from? New York?  
Steve: Yeah, where are you?  
Bucky: I live in New York too.  
Steve: How cool, maybe we could meet for coffee some day or something?

Steve didn't realize that he was holding his breath until now. This wasn't the direction that he was trying to take, but here they were.

Bucky: I don't know about that, Steve...

Steve didn't reply right away. He was shaking as he stared at his phone. A few minutes passed before he could even think of what to say.

Steve: Okay.  
Bucky: I'm sorry.  
Steve: You have nothing to be sorry about. That is your decision.

Steve looked back at his computer and paused it. Why was he acting like this? Sure they had talked and chatted like they were talking, and Bucky was not bad looking by any means, but they weren't dating. Sure some of the things that they had said could be considered flirting, a lot of it actually, but it shouldn't hurt Steve the way it does to not have Bucky say yes to meeting him. 

Bucky: You would understand it better if you knew me, I promise, it's really not that I don't want to.   
Steve: It's late, I need to get up in the morning, have a nice night, James.

Steve put his phone down and went on to his bedroom and laid down. He shouldn't feel like this. He didn't even know Bucky for very long, but he'll admit that he has a soft spot for the blue eyed man. The one that took Claire Jackson to prom Junior year because she begged him and then he left with her brother. The one that helped his sister with her homework and making her lunch for school when they were younger. The one that pulled his best friend out of a burning Hum-V and was honorably discharged. The one that teaches a cooking class voluntarily at the V.A. But 'The one' may not even exist. 'The one' may just be some teenage girl playing pranks, or some terrible person that just wanted someone to jerk around for a little while. 

He felt sick. He felt like he was going to throw up, or cry until he threw up and he didn't know why.   
///***\\\\\  
Bucky looked at his phone and the line of the emails that he and Steve had shared over the past couple of months. He was really starting to like him, but he knew that Steve couldn't like him back. No one wants to be with a guy who's missing an arm. Steve's next message stung. 

Steve: How cool, maybe we could meet for coffee some day or something?

Bucky knew that he couldn't see Steve even though he wanted to. His email picture looks so cute, and his perfect flawless skin so clean and smooth whereas Bucky's was scared and sun beaten. The snow surrounding him was beautiful and his laugh even more so. In Bucky's picture, he was sweaty and dirty and smirking like a douche. Or, that was what Clint had said after taking the picture. 

He didn't have any choice but to shut Steve down. 

Bucky: I don't know about that, Steve...

Steve's one word answer was better than leaving the conversation entirely but still felt like ice piercing his chest. He would say that it hurt more than his arm, but that was being a little dramatic. He knew that he would have to meet Steve eventually, especially if he ever wanted to hold Steve's seemingly soft skin. If Steve would let him hold it. If Steve would let Bucky anywhere near him being the monster that he is. Bucky could vividly see Steve walking into a coffee shop and taking one look at Bucky before turning and walking away, but Steve was nice. Bucky knew that Steve was nice. So Steve wouldn't run out. He would probably walk in, and order his coffee, and look for Bucky. He would see Bucky and he would see his lack of an arm and he would try not to let his face drop. He would come take a seat with Bucky, they would talk and Bucky would look into Steve's pretty eyes and would see pity and sorrow, and then they would leave and Steve would ask Bucky to keep in touch even though they both knew that they wouldn't and that would be the last Bucky ever saw of Steve. 

That's always the worst, is when people gave him pitying looks. Out right staring he could take, but the pity was unbearable. He didn't want to see Steve looking at him like that. He never wanted to see Steve look at him like that.   
(((***)))  
It wasn't until a few days later that Steve started to reply to Bucky, and almost two weeks before Steve and Bucky started to talk like normal. Bucky didn't know what to do, and one Thursday at the V.A., after his class, Clint came up to him and took his phone out of his hands. 

"Is this your Stevie? Have you agreed to meet with him yet?"

"I'm not going to meet with him, Clint, I've told you this, now give me the damn phone."

Clint ignored him and started scrolling through the messages. "He asked you to meet with him? And you said no? Were you sick?"

Bucky tilted his head and gave his friend an annoyed look. "Give me the damn phone, Clint."

"Can't hear you, I forgot my hearing aids this morning." Bucky looked up to Clint's ears and saw the hearing aids in his ears

"Clint."

"I didn't turn them on." Clint replied while typing a quick message on Bucky's phone before tossing it back to Bucky. "Wear something nice."

Bucky looked down to his phone;

Bucky: Tomorrow, 5:00 PM, Orion's, we can have dinner.  
Steve: Really?  
Steve: Yes, I will be there, I have to go now, I'm about to get in trouble with this lady behind me in line. 

Bucky looked up to Clint sauntering away and threw a spoon at the back of his head.  
(((***)))  
It was ten till five when Bucky took a seat at Orion's. He hadn't had the guts to be that guy that let their friend read their private messages so he sat in his booth nervously and read through the messages that they had shared that kept him from running out of the restaurant. 

Steve was so passionate in everything that he did, and you could tell that he was loyal to his friends and family. All Bucky wanted was to meet Steve and everything be the same, but he was so scared. He really cared about Steve and he really wanted Steve to care about him. He really really wanted Steve to care about him. 

It was five till five, and Bucky was beginning to worry that Steve wouldn't show up. He glared at the cup of water that he had asked for when he looked up to meet Steve's eyes across the restaurant. He watched Steve's eyes get really big, he watches his jaw drop, and then he watched Steve's face twist into the most beautiful smile that Bucky's ever seen. Steve walked quickly over to the table and passed Bucky a bouquet of flowers. They just looked at each other and smiled. Bucky could feel his cheeks hurting, but he doesn't care. 

It wasn't until the waiter came over that they had discovered that they hadn't said a word to each other and Bucky watched Steve get out his phone. He was almost upset until he saw his phone vibrate on the table. 

Steve: I'm sorry that I'm so nervous.  
Steve: You're much nicer looking than your picture.  
Bucky: I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about my arm.  
Steve: I didn't notice it at first, it's not as obvious as you may think.

Leave it to Steve to be sweet and oblivious.

Steve: Is that why you didn't want to meet me at first?  
Steve: Because of your arm?

And to figure something out that quickly.

Bucky: Yes.

Bucky was looking down at his phone screen when he heard a sniffle and looked up to see Steve tearing up.

Steve: I'm so sorry, Buck.   
Steve: I should have known that you had a valid reason to mot want to meet with me.

Steve was in the middle of an incredibly long text when Bucky spoke.

"You didn't know, it's okay Steve."  
///***\\\\\  
After Bucky breaking the ice, they fell into easy conversation and Bucky found that he enjoyed listening to Steve talk almost as much as he liked looking at him. It was nice. Steve apologized a couple hundred more times before the waiter came with the check and Bucky paid, leaving a nice tip for the waiter. They walked out of the restaurant together standing close to each other when Steve felt Bucky's hand brush past his. He looked down and noticed again that Bucky had one arm and that arm was currently being occupied by the bouquet of flowers. Steve immediately hated himself for picking them up for Bucky because Bucky only had one arm. That was when the enormity of Bucky's handicap hit him.

"So what do you want to do now?" Bucky asked, looking down at Steve with a fantastic smile on his face.

"Um..." Steve replied smartly, glancing down to Bucky's left arm. 

Or, lack there of. 

"Oh..." Bucky said quietly, following Steve's gaze to the empty space where an arm should be. "It won't get in the way of anything. I mean, I promise that nothing will happen, I mean, unless you just don't want people to see you with-"

"NO!" Steve shouted, looking up at Bucky. "Bucky, you're beautiful, whether you have one arm or three growing out your ass. Don't you think that for a moment that I don't want to be seen with you! I just don't want you to get hurt." Steve's voice got soft as he pulled Bucky into a hug. He didn't know if he was aloud to touch Bucky or not, but he wanted to.

When Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve, Steve took a breath and realized that this was going to be okay. It was going to work.  
(((***)))  
It was seven months after that first date that Steve and Bucky got an apartment together and eight months after that that a package arrived on their door step. 

"Steve, did you order something from Stark Industries?" Bucky said one morning, bringing the package into the kitchen. "It has my name on it."

Steve came in with two cups of coffee and kissed Bucky on the cheek.

"I don't know, I guess you'll have to open it."

"Steve, what did you do?"

"Nothing, Stark owes me for that project I did last year for him and so I called in a favor."

Bucky gave Steve a sideways glance before opening the box. Steve watched him open it with a huge smile on his face. 

"You know I love you, Buck, and I want everyone to know that, and I figured that the best way for people to know would be if I proposed to ya, but I can't do that if you don't have a hand to put a ring on..."

Bucky almost collapsed at the sight of a prosthetic, cybernetic implant.

"I already called your work and told them that you wouldn't be in today or tomorrow. We have an appointment with Stark at three to get it attached, and I know that it'll take some getting used to."

Steve went on and on about much of the finer details about the arm that Bucky didn't want to listen to. He just walked over to Steve and held him in a tight embrace and kissed him. 

"You are the best damn thing to ever happen to me, and I love you no matter what."


End file.
